The sky was thick with a blanket of clouds, the air heavy with the threat of rain, and laden with the scents of pine and wet soil. Water dripped from the branches and drummed unevenly into the damp soil. The forest's inhabitants, usually so lively by the time the sun rose, seemed to have been fooled into silence by the cloud cover. The boy had watched the sky lighten little by little during the night from his shelter under a rock outcropping, but even he couldn't call this dim twilight 'daytime.'

Rain was odd in this part of the empire during the summer, and definitely miserable. His clothes stuck to his skin unpleasantly, dampened by both rain and sweat, and his hair hadn't been dry for days, despite his attempts to find shelter. He'd have sought the shelter of an inn before, but now that the war was over, it seemed even the most out of touch villagers knew his face. He would know no peace if he attempted to enter a town.

Some would love the attention; he wished he could sink into obscurity once more and let them adore someone else. It was a useful tool when one was waging war against a superior force, he would admit, though he felt guilty for thinking of other people like that, yet now that his time was passed... what purpose would it serve, this misdirected admiration of theirs? He did not wish to rule. There were dozens of others among his allies more suited for that.

He would have loved to hand the rune over along with the power. That had not been possible.

His fingers twitched of their own accord, suddenly tingling with cold. He almost welcomed the sensation, sick of the oppresive heat and sticky moisture, but though it raised goosebumps along his arms and inspired a shiver, there was a sharp undertone to the feeling that was just short of pain.

Stop that. He clenched his hand. Yes, he would have loved to get rid of the thing. It had proven to be very unpleasant whenever it felt its will was in danger of being thwarted.

If you are uncomfortable, you should return.

"No," he snapped, pushing to his feet. He cracked his head on the edge of the rock overhang and cursed. "Don't you ever give up?"

Silence. He rolled his eyes and gathered his pack, then surveyed his surroundings with distaste. He'd never been what one could call spoiled, since slaves were rarely given the luxury, but his standard of living had been better than this. Indentured servants in Aleka had rooms, for one thing, and privacy. As the leader of the rebel army, he'd always had a tent at the very least.

Better than staying, he told himself firmly. I'd be stuck behind a desk trying to figure out who's lying to me, otherwise. And making every mistake in the book, too, he thought. What did a slave know of government and leadership? All he'd had to do in the army was make the occasional speech and show the rune. He hadn't even been forced to fight much, though he tried to do his part just like everyone else.

They will make mistakes.

"Shut up." He retraced his steps to the hunting trail he'd found the night before, and headed south. The old capitol was only two days behind him, and he wanted to put as much distance between himself and the remains of that place as possible. People were probably looking for him now.

The rune seemed to withdraw, the pain fading from his fingers enough that he could relax. He'd long gotten used to the idea that the infernal thing was different from others of its kind - a 'true rune,' one of the scholars had said, and as unusual as runes could get. Like gods, he remembered someone saying.

That was more intimidating than the rune's temper tantrums. He tried not to let it show. Could it even see his thoughts? It seemed to have no trouble hearing him when he wanted to say something.

They've already started turning their backs on you.

The rune was very good at putting that itch between a person's shoulderblades. He tried to shrug it off. It didn't matter. He'd turned his back on them by sneaking away, hadn't he?

If only he could see what they were thinking. What had gotten into them, trying to put him in charge? What did they think now that he had deserted them? There were a few people he wished he'd said good-bye to, but those were close friends. They would understand. And the others... they'd said they would follow him to hell and back. Didn't that mean they'd accept this decision too?

He paused and looked back. The forest was veiled in hazy mist, almost like it was raining again. It softened sound and made it impossible to see very far in the distance. If someone came up behind him, he wouldn't know until it was too late.

Making himself walk again was difficult. The weather really was horrible. His room in the palace was looking better and better the more he looked around. It would be cool and dry inside with the rune techs regulating the temperature. Emilia would be there to help him learn more about rune theory, Kado would have the most wonderful lunch for him, maybe even another bowl of ice cream--

She asked you not to go, came the voice of the rune again, more subdued.

"Who?" he asked sharply, forgetting himself. The name came unbidden to mind, though. There was only one person he'd discussed his escape with.

Sarah, it supplied helpfully.

He sighed. Yes, she had asked him to stay. She didn't feel comfortable with his new status either, but she'd made an effort to stay close to him and get involved. His absence would have been a surprise to Sarah, too. He wanted to leave without regrets, to avoid making a scene and telling everyone straight out that he wanted to go. It only occurred to him now that his actions would probably hurt more.

Well, too bad. He was well on his way, and no turning back. They'd understand.

They will understand that you abandoned them.

"I did not!" He clenched his fist, the other holding tightly to the strap of his pack. "I've been saying forever that I didn't want this! They'll understand."

The rune was wisely silent, but what it had said left a bitter taste in his mouth. His feet dragged.

He could prove it wrong and write a letter to Sarah. Or maybe to Emilia - she might take it better. If he explained himself there would be no room for error. Maybe the rune was right on that count, and he was obligated to make a statement of some kind. He would need paper for that, though, which would mean finding a town. It wouldn't be long then until they received word...

A chill crept over his skin, like the mist had become tangible. He ignored it and kept pushing his way through the brush, but the rune was persistent, and soon he was shivering despite the damp heat. A cramp in his foot forced him to pause, and he leaned against a tree to catch his breath.

"Stop." There wasn't much fire behind his command, and the rune didn't listen.

There are humans nearby.

He lifted his head and blinked at the trees in front of him. "What? Where?"

There. It gave him an image to illustrate, an impression of distance and shadow shapes, and where it was in relation to them. A river, not very far; only a few houses, clustered at the side of the road. Maybe an old military checkpoint - the rune hadn't bothered to check details like signs, or colors.

"Then..." He took a deep breath. If it was an old installation, they might have paper, and... "Then we'll stay away. It could be dangerous."

The chill deepened until his teeth began to chatter. He clenched them shut. What it wanted was obvious. He wasn't running out of food yet, and he could approach the river if the water ran out - it wasn't his safety the rune was concerned about. All it cared about, all it had spoken to him about since he left--

Go.

"No." Didn't it know the art of subtlety?

You can't leave this task in their hands. Go back.

Like it cared. Why would it? Shouldn't it be more concerned with his health if it was dependant on him, like they said?

This isn't good for you.

"Then leave me alone!" It might have been more impressive if he'd shouted, but the words came out in a gasp, and it was all he could do to grit his teeth again so he wouldn't bite his tongue.

If he approached the town, it would stop, of course. Like a spoiled child, it would try to make him miserable until it got whatever it wanted, and then leave him alone until the next time. It had happened many times before. Normally it wanted things he didn't mind giving, but this time it had to ask for the one thing he didn't want to do.

Or did he? Sarah was probably worrying about him right now. He hadn't even said good-bye to her. She deserved better. Yes, he wanted to go back for that, but--

You don't have to stay.

He laughed sharply. Just like a child. For a god, it was really bad at persuasion.

"Fine," he managed through chattering teeth. "Fine, we'll go to the town." And no farther, he added silently. He would write, and then he would leave.

The chill eased, just enough that he could walk, but it didn't disappear for a long time.


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Like the file name says, no subtlety was attempted in the making of this ficlet. Or rather, it wasn't grasped. It takes the idea too far - silent struggle is better. I'll keep that in mind next time.

And no, I'm not implying anything by using the name 'Sarah.'