It was...... a strange thing, to live in the aftermath of what they called the 'Eve of Armageddon'.

There weren't many casualties...... only one city truly suffered from the destructive force of that instrument of destruction called 'Meteor'. Only one death that really, truly mattered, one loss that could never, ever be regained for the world......

Of course....... Cloud sighed. He could admit he was being a tad unfair to the rest of the world -- yet as he really wanted nothing to do with them, the expected twinge of guilt did not come. So what if he still mourned Aeris? Mourned her more than his own mother, or his best friend? She had been a pillar of light to him, and even -- dare he say it? -- a girl he had thought he loved.

That lie had been rudely revealed, hadn't it?

He could not, as much as he wanted to, say that his enemies had never spoken the truth; Sephiroth had known, had spoken. Yet...... why, why at that one moment, at her death, had he realized that in truth, he did not love her? Was it an innate defense? A pushing of the blame to shoulders other than his own? It was partly his fault. If he had been stronger, faster, more perceptive......

Perceptive.

Tifa. What the hell does the world want from me?

The stars did not answer.

They shined like diamonds amongst folds of black velvet, illuminating the sky in misty clusers of light and rainbow facets. They reminded him of the light that used to shine in Aeris's eyes, and the playful twinkle he remembered in Tifa's, that night out by the Highwind....... and the lunatic gleam in the eyes that had never seemed to change, over the years -- Sephiroth.

Good god, would he never have any rest from these memories?

"We're more alike than you want to think, boy."

True. So true. And nightmarish, all at once. A few words of wisdom could never erase the pain and hatred and resentment that had been his mentor, so many years ago...... And unlike the boy he had been at that time, he no longer desired to be anything like Sephiroth.

True to the way his life had always led him, the opposite of his desire had come about. Why was he so surprised? It was like the old cliche of asking 'What could possibly go wrong?'

But it obviously didn't disturb him as much as he thought. He wouldn't have come to this place, in that event.

Grass swirled and rustled in the midnight wind, and the rush of air howled in his ears as it sped by, carrying with it the sharp tang of evergreen and snow. Below him spread the empty, silent panorama of Midgar Valley, stepped in shadow, yet bordered at the horizon by the faint twinkling of the ocean past Kalm.

Nothing but the plant life moved within the valley; Shinra's reactors had long since killed off any trace of animal life that may have once made a home there, and he had long since eradicated what remained of the mako monsters. But it did still stir, in fitful bursts, with the energy the Lifestream had left behind upon its return to the Planet. Occasionally, though Cloud no longer quite put the trust in his eyes that he once had, he thought he saw a flash of color, as if a remnant of the spirits contained within the Planet had decided to make itself known.

Why had he come here? It was a fool's quest. Did he really think it would help him to visit this place? It had been...... Sephiroth's, so long ago, and ironically, Aeris's as well. A place of contemplation, supposedly. He didn't see how it had served such a purpose for either of them. He didn't feel very peaceful.

"You've complained about it nearly your entire life, haven't you, boy? Can't find peace?" A soft chuckle bereft of amusement escaped; a momentary loss of control. "Have you ever thought that, perhaps, you should stop looking for it, and let it come to you?"

Not everything in life will come to you, though. Sometimes you have to take it.

"True. But the clinch of it is knowing when to do what. Wouldn't you say?"

Cloud sighed, dropping to the ground gracelessly and settling back against the crest of the hill, folding his arms beneath his head so he could gaze unhindered at the stars. Grass tickled his skin; he paid it no mind.

I don't understand you.

"You never have. And you never will."

Minutes passed, and despite his stubborn resistance, Cloud began to fel his muscles relax. Thoughts flitted across his mind like butterflies, never lingering, though the images always did. Marlene, Tifa, Reeve and his ridiculous stuffed animal...... Simple, amusing thoughts. The rest, he left behind, in favor of the tingling sensation of the breeze and the waving grass.

Somehow...... he came to understand, in a way, why both his former mentor and late friend had come to the place. They were very, very different people, but....... the valley, the hill, the sky...... they didn't care who looked out into the nothingness, they didn't care who enjoyed the breeze...... they couldn't care at all.

It was strange, again, how the feeling crept into him; it was just a soft whisper of breath on his skin, then the cool, feathery sensation creeping into his bones...... it was as if light didn't exist in the world, and he was alone, finally, with his thoughts.

That had rarely happened. And he needed it, so badly......

"Sometimes even the best of us need peace........ And so I have always recalled this place........ where just that one time, there was nothing but the sky, the clouds, and the wind in my hair......"

Could have fooled me.

Another chuckle. "Just because I never found peace in your perception, boy, does not mean that it never happened. Only that I had...... forgotten that blessing in the face of my own flaws."

Cloud stared into the heavens without seeing, nearly on the verge of laughter himself. Was he finally crazy? Or was this something that happened to every 'hero' who couldn't decide on his own feelings?

"And who am I to answer that? I would be personally offended to be referred to as 'the voice in Cloud's head'."

This is supposed to be a time to reflect on my memories, not talk with a dead man who just happens to be in my skull at the moment. What do you want?

Midgar Valley really was a unique place -- even he had to admit it. Only this hill, supposedly harboring the essence of both his best friend and his worst enemy...... could do this. Maybe he really was snapping.

Yet...... he had not began remembring the words, and hearing them spoken, until he entered the valley.

"Think of it as a dream if your simple mind cannot grasp anything else. I don't really care; but heed the words. They've been hard-earned."

Why in hell would you come to me, of all people? Why not Aeris? Or my mother?

A shrug -- if the sensation could be called such. Cloud had the uneasy feeling that he himself had moved, though he knew for a fact it was not so.

"Weren't you listening, boy? I didn't dredge up that memory of the Lifestream for nothing."

Cloud gritted his teeth. You can stop with the 'boy' crap. I'm not fifteen anymore.

"Hmph. Could have fooled me."

"That's it." Cloud scrambled to his feet and trudged back to the crest of the hill, fully intending to vault onto his motorcycle and heading back to the Midgar ruins. But he stopped, feet dragging, and glanced over his shoulder into the valley once again.

"The truth pulls at you, doesn't it?" The soft sigh echoed Cloud's own upon entrane to the valley. "It will drag the strongest man down, and destroy even gods, if it is not acknowledged."

You're speaking from experience, of course. Cloud turned fully, resigning himself to the conversation -- if it could be called such a thing. He was still half-certain it was a delusion. So many other things had been false -- why not this?

"I was not strong. Not in this sense. I was not even a god, though I fancied myself as one, when I faced you in battle. But what use has a god for petty revenge? Better yet, revenge for a cause that had never existed?

No....... I had not the strength, and I fell more surely than any mythical figure of power."

And why is that? Cloud's eyes followed the mercurial waves of the prarie grass, no longer willing to look upon the stars or the endless velvet sky. He knew beyond a doubt he was insignificant; why remind himself again?

"I could not come to terms with my own existence." The wind echoed the sigh in Cloud's head. "A simple matter, yet I cracked under the pressure. Contemptible, to say the least."

Cloud pressed his lips shut, but could not contain theinevitable thought; because it was the truth. It wasn't your fault. At least...... not all of it. He smirked. You could have at least taken the time to read all of the books before jumping to conclusions.

"Damn the books." A smile was apparent, though not visible.

Why....... Cloud shook his head. Why did you have to change? Why are you even here? I never, never wanted to be reminded of your presence again. Why did you call me?

There was silence. Leaves skittered, grass shimmered....... and the wind howled through the valley like a deranged demon, no longer the peaceful presence it had been upon his arrival. A faint chill permeated its rush, with the sense of a coming storm looming behind it. But the night was stil, as it had been before, crystal clear.

He only wished his mind were so easy to understand.

"...... All things change, boy." He paused. "And you are a boy yet, to ask these questions of me. You, of all people, should know only life will determine the 'why' of things. I, like everyone else, made my choices. And I suffer from them greatly, I assure you."

Then why are you here? You're dead, you're......

Cloud again felt the sensation of movement, though he knew he was in the same stance he had taken upon returning to the center of the ridge. It was a creepy feeling....... as if the feathered fingers of the wind were elliciting the feeling from him, somehow embodying the impressions and memories of the one he was speaking with. He shuddered.

"Think of me as a part of yourself. We are, as I said in the beginning, more alike than you would have yourself think."

I hope you don't think I'm going to take that as a compliment.

"You would have once." He chuckled again, allowing amusement to shine through. "However......." He trailed off.

"However?" Cloud asked aloud, though his voice was carried away by a the breeze. Had he been in Midgar, or Kalm, he would have been taken for a raving lunatic. But when his own voice didn't even reach his ears....... where there weren't any others to hear...... Hell, if he wanted to talk to himself, then so be it!

"However......"

Cloud felt another smile. A bitter one, he thought.

"Though I am not trapped in the Lifestream, due to your...... presence, I am not a part of anything you can conceive." He sighed audibly, echoed again by the wind. "I did not call you, boy. I only serve as messanger."

Messanger for who?

"If you cannot answer that on your own, you are in sad shape indeed."

Cloud's mouth twisted. "That's an established fact," he muttered, hitching his shoulders. The missing weight of his weapon didn't even bother him, as it had in the beginning. The mood of the valley is different......

"As are you. Even I cannot deny you the respect you deserve. But...... I suggest you learn from my mistakes....... I'd hate to spend eternity with you, of all people......

"And in truth......."

The words seemed to fade even as Cloud listened, and he automatically closed his eyes, straining his ears though he knew they would find nothing but the sounds of nature to listen to.

"Acknowledgement of your flaws is the first step toward defeating them."

A moral....... he hated stories with morals. And he hated even more that it had been...... him of all people, who had delivered the message he had most needed to hear. At least, he thought that was why he was standing there alone, looking over the dead valley of Midgar with grass sticking out of his hair.

But he would know, wouldn't he? The great Sephiroth....... master of denial.

Errant voice in in his head.........

Cloud sighed heavily, tilting his head back to look into the unchanging sky. Wisps of darkness flittered over the star clusters, glowing with a cottony gray light even with the absence of the moon.

At least the memories had stopped taunting him. For the time being.

He slid down to the ground, once again taking his place just below the crest of the hill. Funny, how this place grows on you. Tifa and the others would probably be worried about him...... but he didn't really care. He wasn't really that far away, after all, and the valley was no longer dangerous.

So Cloud leaned back on his elbows, his face still turned toward the sky, enjoying the peace, and the feeling of the wind in his hair......