Nisan was burning.

The damage to the cathedral was terrible... the damage to the city itself was worse. At least half of the buildings had collapsed into rubble already, and only the work of the courageous Nisan citizens kept the fire from jumping to the few houses that had not yet been consumed.

Nisan was burning, but it remained free.

A single figure darted through the crowd, dodging behind a cart here, a pair of 'firefighters' there, all the while searching, searching.

The cathedral had evacuated before Lacan had managed to locate Sophia's bodyguard, the survivors immediately ranging out into the city to save what they could of their lives. Shevat gears were landing on the outskirts, including the black gear that had been a gift from Queen Cyrene.

And then, where the fire was greatest, a swirling storm of red and orange that threatened to steal the breath from his lungs, he found her, with six of her personal guard.

Lady Sophia.

Elly.

Lacan took a staggering step forward, one of his hands extended in front of him, the words he couldn't say on his lips. All he knew was that he had to get to her...

A rush of blazing heat sent him staggering back again, setting the air between them wavering with heat as intense as the sun. Elly became a mirage in his vision, blurring until he thought she might disappear before he could reach her......

"Lacan!"

The blaze died down almost abruptly, and Elly quickened her pace, eyes fastened on him as if she had not been thinking of anything else. Her eyes were always like that; shinig pools of compassion for each and every soul.

"Elly!" Lacan shouted, taking the last few steps at a bound, before skidding to a stop.

He just looked at her, drinking in the sight of her. It had been too long... far too long. But she looked almost exactly the same as he remembered her so long ago... underneath the dark smudges of ash was the her face, those crystal blue eyes shining up at him, threatening to drown him in their depths.

"Well.. I'm back." he whispered. Yeah... quite heroic, he quipped mentally, nearly kicking himself.

Elly couldn't help herself; she grinned, letting a spurt of soft laughter break her composure. "You...... you haven't changed at all, Lacan." Her hands reached out, touching his face and grasping his shoulders with a feathery softness that came from long, long months of waiting, hardly believing he was truly there in frony ot her.

"I missed you......"

He stared back for a moment, savoring her touch like a man trapped in the desert savors a few drops of water. "Yeah..." he rasped dryly. "I... er... like your new outfit."

Neat. The first time I've seen her in over a year, and I can't think of ANYTHING to say....

She finally laughed out loud, hands flying to clap over her mouth before she could draw attention to herself. Her guard was still only a few steps away, likely watching every move she made -- not to mention Lacan -- as the stood there floundering for words to express how they felt.

No....... **Who cares what they think? I'm entitled to...... just a little....... humanity.......** Her laughter subsided, consumed by another, more intense feeling.

She turned around slowly, as she had done in the dressmaker's home, so long ago. "You really like it?" Elly asked, feeling a bit silly, but still afraid to do anything else with her advisors looking on. She blushed. "I think I look ridiculous......."

"On the contrary... you look beautiful." Lacan replied, his heart shining in his eyes. At that point he wouldn't have even noticed had the building next to them collapsed onto the ground. Even with all the ash and soot, she still managed to retain that bit of dignity and 'presence' that always seemed to affect him.

Lacan laughed a plucked at his rather rumpled Shevat uniform, creased and wrinkled from hours in the gear's command chair. "I'm afraid that I am the one looking silly at the moment." he added with an embarassed laugh.

"No......." She whispered, biting her lip. "You're the most wonderful thing I've ever seen." She took a hesitant step froward, still well aware that her retainers were watching. One more moment of indecision..... and then she threw her arms around him, squeezing hard. "It's about time you got back here. This have been falling apart without you."

He tightened his grip around her, smiling. "Nonsense... you've done a better job that I ever could have. And I didn't even know until a few days ago... my Elly, the Great Mother of Nisan Sophia. Who would have thought."

He bent down slightly to kiss her, only to have her pull away from him. "No..." she whispered, a thread of pain running through her voice. "Not here."

"What... why?" he asked, confused and slightly hurt.

"The Great Mother lives for the people, not for any one person. Her heart must always go first to the people... I'm sorry Lacan, but I have to play my role out here... forgive me." she replied, her voice strong... almost concealing the tremble in her voice.

Lacan glanced around, at Elly's guards. All of their eyes were filled with sympathy for them... all of them knew who that had origionally been. "Elly... Sophia, I'm sorry..."

Her hands stilled his words, resting on his lips a moment. "We'll have our time." Then she smiled, a gentle quality to her expression he had never seen before. "There are a few things I want to tell you....... in private......"

Lacan nodded, smiling as well. "I understand... later. But we've got to save the city first... I'll tell the Shevat troops to move in and help with the fires."

With a deep bow, as befitting a person of her station, he turned and left the square.

---

Elly braced her hand against a broken column, putting her weight on it in an attempt to ease the weight on her feet without seeming to do so. Her body guards were gathered about her in a tight circle, and within and beside her, her advisors and supporters from the Council stood, peering out into the city from their vantage point at the beginning of the bridge.

And they seemed very distracted by what they saw; good.

She didn't like seeing Nisan burn any more than they did -- less in fact....... but she could not bring herself to concentrate fully on her relief work, no matter how hard she tried. Not with Lacan home again. **Lacan......**

Out of the blue, he came....... He had been gone for over a year, and yet he was back, without word, without warning without........ part of her was absolutely ecstatic; he was home, -finally-, after such a long time away from her, with the ring on her finger the only reminder he was waiting for her as well...... and then.......

...... And then, rationality broke through her happiness.

Mother Sophia could not have a husband. Mother Sophia could not afford to have any love interests at all. Her love should be the people, and all their myriad differences....... and her concern, their welfare and spirit, not her own happiness...... Even her child...... Even Aishou had to be kept secret, out of sight, for fear of damaging her oh-so precarious place in the political arena......

Elly sighed. She -hated- politics. She hated having to conform to them, in order to keep her people safe. And what was worse...... she knew she would not be the only one to suffer because of that. Her family would pay too........

A -family-........ She closed her eyes, turning her face to the column and hoping her escorts would take it as a sign she was tired, rather than distressed.

**God, I have a family....... I have to take care.......** How strange it was, to think of herself as a mother. A -real- mother, not just 'Sophia, Mother of the Nisan Sect'. She had a child, a small, darling little infant...... How would that sweet child fare, if she could not even so much as publicly acknowledge her own mother?

Aishou........ was she safe? Was she still in that little room in the catacombs, so close to the cathedral? Had it even been safe to leave her there? There had really been no choice...... one could not take a baby underground, with the dust and dank molding amd too-cold air...... she would have caught her death of that air. But leaving her so close to the surface......

A deep breath, and Elly immediately coughed, shivering almost convulsively. The taste of ashes dampened her mouth, and it took all she had not to spit it out with the polluted air. She waved a guard away and retreated to the corner of the little space she had chosen for her rest, another slight shudder running through her frame.

**Aishou......** Now that she had thought of it, her daughter's name would not leave her mind. She kept repeating it, over and over, a cold, almost empty feeling gathering in the pit of her stomach. Was she safe? -Was- she?

Something......... had something......?

Elly shook the thought off, silently berating herself. Of course Aishou was safe -- she was guarded by two close friends, and three soldiers from the sect. Nothing would happen to her. What -was- happening was a downward spiral into her own concerns; and that was not a good thing. Already, she was disregarding her responsibilities to the many for her own good and security......

As reprehensible as the thought felt, she knew she had to be able to concentrate on her job, and her appearance, to lift the spirits of Nisan. They would be looking up to her now, to help them overcome this disaster, and she had to be on her toes, ready to do anything to help them, even if it meant waving and smiling from her balcony while Lacan and Aishou waited in the background.

She would have to truly -be- Mother Sophia, until they could do without her presence for a little while...... Shevat's queen might be of some help there, if she could be trusted. But the brunt of the work would be on Elly's shoulders...... and while she would have gladly bore it just a month ago, circumstances had changed drastically......

How could she be a mother and a wife and fight a war all at once? Was it possible?

Well, it would have to be possible. She loved her people dearly, but...... but Lacan deserved happiness as much as they, as her innocent child....... Surely there was a balance, somewhere. If she worked hard enough, prayed hard enough...... There had to be a way. And she would find it.

Elly pushed away from the column and took another deep breath, this time wary of the dust and ash in the air. "Come; we have more work yet before we return to the cathedral."

They followed silently, ever warchful; she took comfort in their presence. Most were old friends, that she had gathered around her upon first becoming Sophia, and what stability she could not find in her own heart, they provided her, for the time being.

Aishou must be safe...... Lacan understood....... for now, she could worry about her people.